Humour

Dear Mr. President: Buy My Software, please

Posted on by tarus

Readers of this blog know that I am somewhat of a purist when it comes to the term “open source“. I believe that if you are in the business of generating most of your revenue by selling software licenses you can’t be an “open source vendor” (although there are a number of corner cases that make it difficult to categorize some companies).

Recently Matthew Aslett over at the 451 Group was kind enough to continue the discussion of what constitutes an open source vendor, and his post seems to have caused others to join in. While I don’t agree 100% with his conclusions, I’m glad people are at least talking about it. Of course, Matt Asay thinks we’re all silly and the question isn’t even worth considering, since open source and commercial software are basically the same thing.

The importance of trying to define an open source vendor becomes apparent when I see things like this open letter to President Obama from “15 leaders of open source projects and companies”.

Now I, of course, believe that government can definitely benefit from open source, but I’m not sure now is the time to be bringing it up. I mean the man is busy resurrecting the economy, trying to end two wars, and restoring the country’s international standing. Personally, I’d rather see the credit markets loosen up a bit first before really worrying about bringing open source to the government.

And I have to wonder about the motives of the signers, since many head up commercial open core software companies. I know they mean well, but couldn’t this be just a publicity stunt to get their commercial software products on the government’s radar?

Let’s suppose that the USA issues an open source mandate requiring that open source solutions be considered in any software purchase. Can you imagine how that conversation might go?

USA Government Guy: Okay, we have this mandate to move to open source solutions, so I want to know if you can help me.

Open Core Vendor: Sure. I’m certain we can.

USA: Okay, does your software do this, this and this?

Vendor: Of course, it’s our core competency.

USA: Great. Now this is important … can it do that?

Vendor: Yes …

USA: Excellent, now concerning …

Vendor: … in our enterprise version.

USA: Excuse me?

Vendor: That is only available in our enterprise version.

USA: What’s an “enterprise version”?

Vendor: Well, we have two versions of our software: the community version and the enterprise version, and the enterprise version has more features.

USA: Well we definitely need that, so I guess we’ll need the enterprise version. It’s still open source, right?

Vendor: We have built a great open source community.

USA: But the enterprise version … I get the source code, right?

Vendor: Well, no. That’s our community version.

USA: I don’t understand. I can modify the enterprise version, correct?

Vendor: I don’t see how, we don’t let you see the code.

USA: Are there limits on how I can distribute the enterprise version?

Vendor: Oh yeah, we’ll charge you a license for each device you need it for.

USA: Charge me?

Vendor: Yeah, see, you have to understand, there are three types of people in open source. Those who write code, those who pay for code and freeloaders. Those who write code we call “our community” and well, freeloaders aren’t useful for much at all, but you get to be in the third group, which we call customers.

USA: I thought open source was about sharing, both the costs, the benefits and the goals, and that it created such great things as the Linux kernel and the Apache web server. How does this apply to your product?

Vendor: You can’t get good code unless someone pays for it.

USA: Okay, I’ll bite: how much does your enterprise version cost?

Vendor: $500 …

USA: That’s not too bad, I thought it was going to be …

Vendor: … per device.

USA: What ?!? I have hundreds of thousands of devices!

Vendor: Yeah, that’s why they call it a stimulus package. I’m stimulated just thinking about it.

USA: Man, this open source thing is going to get expensive. Well, what’s the life of the product? At least I can spread the cost over a couple of years.

Vendor: Maybe I wasn’t clear. That was $500 per device per year. We work on a “subscription” model.

USA: I am so confused. If I have to pay you that much each year, I might as well go with the solution from IBM or Microsoft like I always have.

Vendor: But we’re open source.

USA: Some of your product is open source, but it seems like it exists solely to drive people to your commercial “enterprise” product. Both Microsoft and IBM create some open source software, so how are you different?

Vendor: We put “open source” on our website.

Ooooh, I’m going to hell for that one.

Failblog

Posted on by tarus

Last week the gang up in Hershey turned me on to Failblog. Surprisingly, I immediately came across two good examples and thought I’d share.

The first is a picture a friend of mine took at Grand Central Station in New York City:

The second is from an eBay Motors ad. I was looking for a new truck and while I’m always interested in knowing why a person is selling a vehicle, this guy’s reason was unique.

April Fools Day

Posted on by tarus

I love April Fools Day. Fifteen years ago my wife and I eloped on April Fools Day. No one we told believed us.

So in case you didn’t guess, yesterday’s posts were all fictitious.

OpenNMS Enterprise is the only version we have, and it is available for free. Thanks to Ben for the new logo, and Jeff for the price calculator.

OpenNMS has had slightly less than one vigintillion downloads. While we might not be alone, there is no hard evidence for extraterrestrial life. Thanks to Ben for the “beam me up” pic. I’m keeping the hat.

We do have a large number of really cool users, both large and small, names you’ve heard of and names you haven’t. Bubba and Zeke of Bubba’s Insurance are examples I use in my training course.

Sun has not offered to buy OpenNMS, although I wouldn’t dismiss any offer from them lightly. I’m still not sure if their idea of how to run an open source project matches up with mine, but I think of all the traditional players there closest to it.

Our friends at Hyperic even joined in the fun. Next year we’ll need to coordinate a little better, so save the date.

Sun Microsystems Purchases The OpenNMS Group for Undisclosed Sum

Posted on by tarus

SANTA CLARA, CA – 1 April 2008

Sun Microsystems, Inc (NASDAQ: JAVA) today announced the acquisition of the privately held OpenNMS Group for an undisclosed amount of cash and stock. This represents Sun’s return to its roots as a leader in network management solutions. Coupled with the excellent performance of the Java-based application on Sun hardware, this should provide a compelling story for those companies looking for a high performance, yet affordable, management solutions.

“With its amazing download numbers and adoption by numerous and prestigious companies, acquiring the company behind OpenNMS was a no brainer,” said Frodo Baggins, special adjunct undersecretary in charge of tofu for Jonathan Schwartz, CEO and president, Sun Microsystems.

“I’m not sure what happened,” said Tarus Balog, CEO, Poobah Emeritus, Knight Exemplar and Wild and Crazy Guy for the OpenNMS Group. “I’m partial to these Wyler’s Italian Ices, and some guys came in with a truckload of ’em. A few hours later I awoke from my sugar coma with a signed contract in one hand and a bagful of money in the other. It was a nice, large bag.”

This move confirms Sun’s commitment to its open source direction by investing in those technologies demanded by today’s extreme growth, as well as traditional, enterprises. With the ability of OpenNMS to scale to hundreds of thousands of interfaces it compliments the rest of the Sun open source portfolio. The OpenNMS Project should see a heightened amount of financial investment as well as more and better beer at Dev-Jam.

[UPDATE: Apparently, Sun has acquired Hyperic that has acquired OpenNMS. Go figure.]

OpenNMS Reaches 1 Vigintillion Downloads, Proves Extraterrestrial Life

Posted on by tarus

PITTSBORO, NC – 1 April 2008

Today OpenNMS announced the 1 vigintillionth download of OpenNMS: Enterprise Edition®. This milestone was reached within three hours of the initial press release announcing the availability of the product, and suggests that OpenNMS now has over 1 vigintillion potential clients.

“Considering that the population of the planet Earth is around 6 billion people (6E09) this amazing number of downloads (a vigintillion is 1E63) can only mean one thing: we are not alone in this universe, ” said Tarus Balog, CEO and Poobah Emeritus of The OpenNMS Group. “The fact that these downloads occurred so quickly means that we are dealing with intelligent life with technologies well beyond what we have today. They may not even look like us, or perhaps they are masquerading as elderly Swedes.”

Beam me up!

Wearing a new tinfoil hat, Balog went on to say that his team would welcome the new alien overlords and masters as they obviously have excellent taste in management software. He stopped short of announcing new monitors for interstellar engines and spaceship control systems, but hinted they would be added soon.

OpenNMS Enterprise Edition Announced

Posted on by tarus

PITTSBORO, NC – 1 April 2008

Today OpenNMS is proud to announce the availability of “OpenNMS: Enterprise Edition®”.

“The definition of ‘open source’ applications is changing,” states Tarus Balog, Chief Executive Office of the OpenNMS Group, “and OpenNMS must change with it. Some customers today are not satisfied with the open and totally free version of OpenNMS, and so we have had to adapt. The general industry consensus is that without a strong commercial presence, it is not possible for an open source project to deliver quality code on time. We want to make sure that OpenNMS can meet the demands of all potential clients, and not just those who want the best possible value for their management investment. Yeah, we’re talking about boatloads of money here.”

The main, and in fact only, difference between the plain old, reliable and free OpenNMS and OpenNMS: Enterprise Edition® is the logo.

OpenNMS Enterprise Logo

That, and the price. As with other vendors the actual cost of OpenNMS: Enterprise Edition® will be highly subjective and obsfucated. The following calculator has been created for clients to estimate the cost of an OpenNMS: Enterprise Edition® deployment.

Number of Routers:
Number of Switches:
Number of Servers:
Number of :
Number of :
Number of :

Your price* for OpenNMS Enterprise Edition, based on the number of managed elements estimated above, is:

US$1,000,000.00

Add To Cart

* Price quoted is for licenses / right-to-use only, and does not include product maintenance (25% of list price above; not subject to any discounts; required for technical support and access to new versions of the Software).

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Ooh la la, Gimme a Litre of GPL

Posted on by tarus

I saw this in France and I thought it was cute:

While I understood that this was a pump for Liquid Propane Gas, my first thought was the GNU General Public License.

I wonder if anyone else has this problem.

I remember once I was at a conference in Boston, and I saw an older, extremely well-dressed woman carrying a bag that said “AIX“. I was so curious as to why she would have such a bag that I started to follow her. When I got closer I saw it was “A/X” for Armani Exchange.